


BOOM! (aka, "What do you think of Thor being named SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, Avengers?")

by GlynnisIsta8



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:58:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2642465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlynnisIsta8/pseuds/GlynnisIsta8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tabloid 'report' on Thor being named SEXIEST MAN ALIVE--- with reactions from his Avenger friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	BOOM! (aka, "What do you think of Thor being named SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, Avengers?")

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. Marvel characters. Blah Blah Blah

**BOOM!**

As we all learned last year, we are NOT alone in the universe! So, it should come as no surprise that this year’s **SEXIEST MAN ALIVE** is the best part of how we learned that… none other than the god of thunder himself, **THOR (Prince of Asgard)**. (See pages 10-12 for EXCLUSIVE pictures!)

Is it the hammer? The pecs? Is it the billowing cape? Is it that deadly set of dimples? Is it the godly physique? The tendency to save our world?

All of the above. And more.

Yours truly was there that day in New York when the world learned that a cosmic family feud was about end life as we knew it. Dark Lord Loki led an army of shrieking, laser-wielding Chitauri marauders. Big brother Prince Thor wielded a hammer that drew down the power of the heavens… and brought along five _Avenging_ -angel friends. Could the outcome truly be in doubt???

Let’s take another look at the company kept by the Prince of Asgard! (aka- _What do you think about Thor being named the sexiest man alive, Avengers?_ )

First up- America’s favorite black sheep billionaire, **Tony Stark**. Tony Stark is a genius and **IRON MAN**. He inherited the family fortune and business at age 21 after the tragic deaths of Howard and Maria Stark, America’s long-time power couple. He then tore a drunken, torrid swatch through enough ladies to leave other Lothario-legends in the dust. Enter one **Pepper Potts** , long-suffering assistant transformed into brilliant Louboutin-clad Stark Industries CEO--- and a transformative months-long stay in the cave-prison of some Afghani terrorists. Now, Tony Stark is dedicated to saving the world… from green energy resources to Avenging against aliens and bad-guys on the side (while showering Potts with expensive gifts such as shoes and private islands). When asked his reaction to Thor’s ascendency as SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, Stark responded with his usual irascible aplomb, “What? I thought I was the sexiest! What the hell?”

Second- America’s favorite self-sacrificing Captain. Captain **Steve Rogers** , better known as **CAPTAIN AMERICA**. The battle-leader of the Avengers team and a bona-fide WWII hero, the good Captain is a likely successor to Prince Thor’s mantle as SEXIEST MAN ALIVE next year. He brings down terrorists and evil helicarriers, visits sick children and gives them piggy-back rides, respects the flag (and wears it well, too!) and has a swoony shyness and modesty. Asked his reaction to Thor’s good fortune, the Captain stared at me for a long moment and said, “Is that really something people talk about now?” He then wrote it down on a list in a notepad for further consideration.

Third- **Dr. Bruce Banner** is the amiable gamma radiation scientist who transforms into a “giant green rage monster” (to quote Stark) when provoked. That same green ‘monster’ caught Tony Stark as he fell unconscious from sending nuclear disaster to another dimension, so logical humans (read: people not on Senate Defense sub-committees and/or Army Generals) think he’s a pretty good guy. The doc peered at me over his glasses with enough puzzled irritation and enough of a flash of green in his eyes that I told him to get back to me whenever he has the chance. I haven’t heard from him as of press time.

Fourth, the super-spy assassin team of **Clint Barton** and **Natasha Romanoff**. Barton, aka **HAWKEYE** , seems able to hit a bullseye with his arrows without even looking at it. Romanoff, aka **BLACK WIDOW** , is proof that looks CAN kill. Barton laughed at the question and replied, “I bet Stark thought it would be him. I can’t wait to get a copy of the magazine, have it framed and sent to Stark’s lab. What do you bet he buys out the magazine publishing company and has the tally re-done in his favor?” Romanoff raised an eyebrow, causing sweat bullets to streak down my back. I told her to get back to me whenever she has the chance. I haven’t heard back from her as of press time, not that I’m criticizing her in any way, shape or form. She’s a great listener who helped me see the error of my ways and confess every bad deed I’ve ever done or considered doing. Have I mentioned how beautiful she is? And deadly?

All of Thor’s friends are beautiful, it would seem. Even his evil brother ( **Prince Loki** , R.I.P.) has a sizable fan club!

On the romance front, Thor has been steadfast in his adoration of Earth astrophysicist **Dr. Jane Foster** (see inset photo). Foster is a winsome, lovely triple PhD with a head for ‘space stuff’ as her best-friend/ intern **Darcy Lewis** describes. Of the couple, Lewis shares (exclusively with yours truly), “They’re totally into each other. Have you heard all the unexplained thunder around here lately? That’s courtesy of Mr. godly getting happy.”

 **BOOM!** (Oh, my!)


End file.
